SOCIAL SOUP

SOCIAL SOUP

An Author wrote a mystery, and

A Biologist found an aerie.

A Chef was smothered in flour, and

A Despot regained power.

An Educator wrote a book, and

A Fireman caught a crook.

A Governor went to jail, and

An Historian posted bail.

An Inventor went back in time, and

A Jurist committed a crime.

A Kleptomaniac stole a Ming, and

A Librarian had a fling.

A Mechanic fell in a bucket of grease, and

A Nutritionist became obese.

An Optician fell in the creek, and

A Politician could only squeak.

A Queen spilled her champagne, and

A Radiologist irradiated his brain.

A Senator was misstated, and

A Teacher was x-rated.

A Union Boss lost his job, and

A waiter dropped the shish kabob.

A writer became a postman, and

A Xenophobe married a Martian.

A Yachtsman was lost at sea, and

A Zoologist got stung by a bee.

But NO ONE noticed; they were busy taking selfies!

Canine Perception

Many people judge others on their appearance. The fat lady is honored only in opera. The short man is considered sissified. Some folks reject those of different skin color, a limp, lack of so-called style in dress, the job they pursue, their education, their ancestry, or where they live.

 

Our canine friends are wiser. Dogs sense the real person and instinctively recognize a person’s personality. They relate to kindness, generosity, even the interior happiness. They shy away from shallowness, egotism, “me first” self-serving persons. They respond to sincerity and turn away from hypocrisy. Is it any wonder some people prefer their dog to their neighbors? 

Imagination Gone Amok

I rarely have trouble falling asleep at night. Usually, I read five or six pages of a novel, turn out the light, say my prayers and go to sleep within minutes.

 

On the rare occasion I cannot drop off, I silently recite a few Bible verses or the lyrics to a hymn, and drift into dreamland.

 

A few weeks ago, after praying, my thoughts ran rampant in my head and I could not nod off. I switched position and recited a few more verses. No luck.

 

Then imagination took over. I had always heard of counting sheep jumping over a fence as a sleep inducement, but had never tried it. Hmm. I wonder if it works.

 

I closed my eyes and imagined a little wooly white lamb jumping over a low fence and running off. A second little sheep followed—three—four…ten, eleven… twelve.  The next lamb had a red face.

 

I opened my eyes and frowned, rolled over on my side and tried again. Two more little red-faces leaped over and disappeared. I settled more comfortable. Then, the next lamb had a lime green face, then a sky blue one, a neon yellow one. I smiled. This was fun.

 

To my surprise, the following two had normal white face. Then, in quick order: a lamb with pink polka-dotted wool, one with purple stripes, followed by one with green and blue plaid wool.

 

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes. What next? I wondered.

 

I decided to go downstairs and have a cup of hot milk. I had never tried that either, but how could my imagination possibly mess up a cup of milk?

God's Hand

GOD’S HAND

God has His hand on the universe,

The stars and comets follow His direction;

He sets the paths they traverse.

Planets and moons orbit in perfection.

He knows their names.

The seasons obey His timing;

They rotate at His command.

Sowing, growing and harvesting,

Are set to befriend the land.

God has His hand on you.

He knit your bones, and substance.

He knows your thoughts and stance.

All you are, He foreknew.

He knows your name.

Arlene J. Warner

Http://www.ArleneJWarner.com

DISCOVERING THANKSGIVING

Sometimes it is difficult to find much to be thankful for. This year may be one of those times. However, if you are in this predicament, the search for good can be revealing and fulfilling.  Consider some of the following  events you may have celebrated since last Thanksgiving:

1.      A new baby or grandchild was born.

2.      Your loved one returned safely from Afghanistan.

3.      Your daughter graduated from college and got a job.

4.      Your son married a wonderful young woman.

5.      The x-rays proved that your mother’s fall resulted in only a bruised hip.

6.      Your husband or wife still has a job.

7.      The breast test came back negative.

8.      You celebrated fifty years of marriage.

9.      You lost 15 pounds

10.  Your oldest child started kindergarten.

11.  Your pet loves you.

12.  You have a sense of humor.

13.  You can gaze at the sunset, or the tide rolling in, or the snow on the mountains.

14.  You give and receive love.

15.  Your child gave you a homemade Mother’s Day card.

16.  You received sufficient rainfall for your crops.

17.  Your roses bloomed all summer.

18.  Your son escaped without a scratch when he totaled his car.

19.  Your husband gave you a surprise party.

20.  Your neighbor shared his zucchini with you. J

             Give thanks for our servicemen, police, and firemen who risk their lives to keep

              us safe.

A major blessing is our Bill of Rights. No other country has a much individual    freedom as we do. Give thanks for the freedom of the press, religion, assembly, to bear arms, to vote, trial by our peers, unreasonable search and seizure. Give thanks for our unique Constitution.  

This is a short list. I’m sure you can think of many more. Some may appear frivolous, but think about it – they are each a blessing.

The Bible says laughter is good medicine. A positive attitude puts a spring in your step and is contagious. All those around you benefit. Remember, some things are like the weather, you can’t do anything about it. So, as the old adage says, “When you’re dealt a lemon, make lemonade.”

Most importantly, remember your heavenly Father is still on His throne and in control.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Celebrate. Have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving.       

ALL THAT JAZZ

 A tyrant lives at our house. Our daughter found a gray, two pound ball of fluff inside a coke machine a year ago and brought him home. After spending a day or so assessing his situation, he asserted full authority over the entire household. We named him All That Jazz (for some unexplainable reason) and promptly shortened it to Jazz.

Jazz appropriates my favorite chair at will and turns into a handful of cooked spaghetti when I try to remove him. Another resting place is the laundry basket, atop freshly laundered and folded clothes.
His hobbies include chasing the long cord my husband uses to connect his laptop to the phone. Cat toys bore him, but he has been known to rip a newspaper or homework into confetti when thwarted.

At mealtime, he wraps himself around my feet in a disgusting fawning manner, even though he knows the rule is no feeding in the kitchen or dining room. He prefers pasta to cat food, but his all time favorite food is tuna.

Each night he honors one of us by sleeping on the chosen one's bed. Once settled, you move him at your own risk. He appears benign enough as you gently slide him over so you can slip under the covers. Don't be fooled by the fact that he doesn't move an eyelid, or stiffen his tail. In half an hour or so, just as you are nestling into a sound sleep, he exacts revenge by nipping a toe.

I once scolded him sternly: "I'm the mistress, you're the pet." He stared at me with unblinking green eyes for a few moments, swishing his tail all the while. Then he yawned and turned his back on me. I am almost sure I heard "Dream on Lady" as he stalked off.

Father, Save America

FATHER, SAVE AMERICA

Lord, You delivered the Israelites from slavery,
and moved them across the sea.

You raised up Moses, Joshua and David
to lead them;
You gave them the Promised Land.

You delivered the Pilgrims from prosecution,
and took them across the sea.

You raised up Washington, Adams, and Henry
to lead them;
You gave them America.

You produced the Ten Commandments
To guide your chosen people;
You inspired the constitution
To govern the new land.

Israelites fell away.
America fell away.

Israel called out to You, and repented;
You heard their cries and healed their land.

On my knees I called to You. I repented.
Lord, hear my prayer and heal our land.

Father, please save America.